Virginity

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Lord Paragon
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This is in the Serious Discussion thread, so only serious and well thought posts only please. Those who make a joke will be penalised...

With that warning out the way. Virginity... is it as sacred as it used to be? In times gone by, the loss of your virginity was something you wanted to be special, with someone you 'love'. Some people are still like this too. However, in recent times, it seems to be a trend that those who lose their virginity are 'cool' because they could get laid. I'll admit, social pressure caused me to lose mine, and its that one time i regret out of them all, because i felt nothing for the girl, as nice as she was, i just did it to start me off onto the current road im on now. I have warned my younger brother and sister not to make the same mistake, my brother didnt listen, but thankfully, my sister has, so my fuck-up wont be made atleast by her (lol, last hope for our family of everyone getting everything right first time around). I was in a shop over the weekend and saw a 14 year old buying condoms, a 14 year old! The legal age here is 16, but they will sell to those younger, mostly in clinics, because they dont want them having unprotected sex... but they shouldnt even be thinking of that! Is losing your virginity a new trend amongst younger people? First it was undearage smoking, then drinking, now this? Do they really want to grow up and be like us so much? I dont understand...

Anyway, what are your thoughts on this?
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Camilla
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I don't see the big deal about virginity. You can't hold it in your hand- it's not material. There's no point to holding on to it except for pride. Especially now that times have changed.
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skellington
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Christianity is big on keeping it til marriage. but teen-age guys, teen-age girls. probably not gonna happen! :]
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LordMegatron
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I don't see why viginity is so important...I wouldn't want some guy having sex with my sister, but with my brother it's different for some reason I don't mind...I didn't lose mine out of pressure it was a mutual decision between me and my girlfriend. I wouldn't encourage underage sex but, if they want to make that choice it's only theres to make...
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waufreak89
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LordMegatron wrote:I wouldn't want some guy having sex with my sister, but with my brother it's different for some reason I don't mind


I think the reasoning behind that is the double standard society has between men and women when it comes to sex. Society is for the most part more accepting of men having multiple sexual partners. There is a degree of logic behind that, since women have more risks associated with casual sex, a main one being unwanted pregnancy. However it still remains a rather sexist notion.

The sacredness of virginity is substantially less then it used to be. Such a fact is only natural considering the very sex-based society that we live in. Movies, TV, Magazines, Video Games and all kinds of other mediums market sex to us on a consistent basis. It’s around us so much that we have begun to think of the notion of virginity as absurd.

As skellington said in his post, the Catholic Church is of the belief that sex should be saved for marriage. Many modern day people mock that notion, labeling it crazy or stupid.

However I think if you stop and really take some time to think about the reasoning behind the Church’s teaching, then it begins to make sense.

Going on the common modern basis that sex can be just for fun, you might find yourself having sex with somebody you barely know, or maybe even just met. If you haven’t invested the time into learning about the person, then your sexual experience will not be the most it could be. Sex is much then just a physical action; there is a mental and spiritual aspect to it.

When one has sex they are connecting with another person in the most complete way possible. If you have gone through a lengthy courtship, during which you learned much about your partner, then your first sexual experience will be a truly memorable one, as opposed to just a quick fling.
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KKW2 wrote:I think and "age limit" on sex is lame. I also think that saving sex for marriage is lame too. They're your hormones, you can't do anything about it. You don't control your hormones, your hormones control you. I don't believe a word when someone says "I'm a virgin and I'll stay a virgin for the rest of my life". 'Ja fuckin' right, unless you have some hormonal disorder which disables your sex characteristics. Gee I wonder why all the priests fondle and rape the little boys. Can't last a lifetime without having some sort of sexual pleasure.

I don't understand why so many people are making such a big deal out of "underage sex". It's just sex. Biologically, girls are ready to be pregnant by age 12 or 13 and guys ready to reproduce about 13 or 14. That's when we're "supposed" to start reproducing. Only 30% graduate high school as virgins (United States).

If some 14 year old wants to have sex it's not really anyone's business. If it bothers you so damn much just don't have sex with them.


You bring up some solid points in regards to hormones. However I do think that self-discretion should also be taken into account. People are not slaves to their hormones; they do posses a free will. Some people have a weak free will and have more trouble controlling themselves. This may lead them to lose their virginity not by choice, but through peer pressure, just as Lord Paragon said he did in the first post.

I don’t agree with your point about the only people that don’t want to have sex are those with hormonal disorders. I truly think that celibacy is a completely reachable goal for some people. In my lifetime I have met several people that abstain for sex and are leading happy, fulfilling lives. Regardless of what some people think, sex is not the single most important thing in life.
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KKW2 wrote:
waufreak89 wrote:So what if they lose their virginity through peer pressure? It's not a big deal. It's not like they were forced to murder someone through peer pressure, it's not like they were forced to shoot heroin through peer pressure. No, they were forced by peer pressure to have sex. What is the big deal? Biologically, unless the individual has hormonal disorders, the body is MORE than willing to have sex.

The people you speak of, how can you know for sure? They may claim to be. Maybe they really do plan to stay virgins their whole lives but I assure you, more than once, their bodies probably couldn't stand the abstinence. Their mind and bodies are separate things. Their mind may refuse, but their body can't. I'm not saying the people you know are liars when they say they're virgins, but at one point their bodies probably craved for intercourse or some sort of sexual pleasure. Unless their hormones aren't working of course, that's a totally different story.

Sex not the most important thing in life? Sex is what maintains the circle of life. Without copulation (asexual or not) the world wouldn't even work. No sex, no life.


KKW2, I assure you I’m not putting peer pressure induced consensual sex on the same level as peer pressure induced murder. Murder is crime were as consensual sex is obviously not. I was just trying to point out that sometimes it’s neither hormones nor free will that are the driving force behind having sex. There can be external factors at play.

Most of the celibate people I spoke of in my post are clergy men and women. While it is true I can’t prove they have never had sex, I can whole-heartedly say I believe them.

While the mind and body do function separately, I do believe they can and do work together in many people. If your mind is truly behind an ideal, then you can make you body follow along.

I think there is a common misconception that those who are celibate are disgusted by the notion of sex. That is rarely the case. Most people that choice celibacy do so because they feel they have been called to a special purpose. I respect anybody that makes the sacrifice of celibacy, especially if they do so to help other people.

When it comes to urges, it’s no secret that everybody gets them. But there are those out there that have the will power to not act on them, and many do so not out of spite or disgust, but out of a commitment to a cause.

As far as the importance of sex, the statement I made was sex was not the single most important thing in life. The key word in that sentence would be “single”. Sex is vital to ensuring the existence of the human race. But I also believe that people have an obligation to help those around them and attempt to better the world. In my opinion bettering the world is just as important has having sex. You can produce all the off spring you want to, but if you don’t take an active part in helping to make the world a good place, then you have not given your children the best opportunity they could have.
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airborneranger
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I'll keep with the Christian custom.

Paragon: did you get this from the MKO topic?
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waufreak89
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KKW2 wrote:My point in this thread is once again, why do people make such a big deal out of losing your virginity? Why the hell do other people care about little kids having sex? Sure, STIs are a big problem in society and teenage pregnancy can be painful to look at. But it's not really anyone's business if they have sex or not. Just don't have sex with them if ya'll care so much.


I think the desire to prevent little kids from having sex stems from a psychological need that many people have to preserve innocence. Children have long been a symbol of innocence and many adults, epically parents of the children, are not comfortable with the notion that their children are losing their innocence.
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Well, time for the "salad" comment (scattered points with little consistency :P)

I think, the first most important part on this topic is not wether is good or bad to loose virginity but what you think about it.
From experience, one of my closest friends at school lost her virginity quite early, she was 13 and her guy was 17, it had been planned and we were all kinda curious and exited about it, however once things went their way and all, it turned out such a deception to her, she didnt really feel anything for the guy and the ass was just a heated-dickhead, wich made their sexual intercouse unpleasant to the max for her so we quite lost interest...

This brings the next point, yeah we're ready to procreate since age 12, however that doesnt mean we have to, and hormones are notthing, just like choosing between chocolate cake and fruit salad, your body may need sugar, but its up to you what kind of sugar you want at that time.
Sexual pleasure is the little trap set for us to induce humans into procreation, and the liberating feeling (the release of endorphines and all that jazz) a common sexual intercourse produces can be achieved by many ways, from exercise to food, and other less recomendable yet still liberating enough practices such as alcohol and drugs, and beating your head in a desk...so no, sex is not totally biologically necesary for your body as i see it, we're not dogs or cats, we're among the very few animals that can have orgasms, can relate sex to feelings and psychology, and wich can allow themselves to choose, may it be by willpower, psychological barriers or physical barriers, if we want or not to have sex.

So, back on the story, we spent four years seeing the kiddos at school talk about fucking this and fucking that, but we, or at least i, were completely uninterested about sex (prooves my point, 3 n half years without anything nearing wanting or even thinking about having sex) until i met certain guy, we became friends and later a couple, and the topic arose at some party, and i decided to talk it with him, almost a year passed and i finally DECIDED i wanted to have sex with him. Unlike my friend's experience, i was incredibly in love (and still am) with him and this was the trigger for the anti-sex barrier to be lifted, and man, have i to say i enjoyed it? Im glad to say im the only one among girls i've talked about this to say my first time was with the right guy, i mean, how many have their first orgasm on their first act?
Unlike my friend i dont regret it at all, because i didnt just have sex, i made love :)

And there's where i go, sex is not about procreation anymore, its about pleasure and love, and rather than saying people should or shouldnt loose their virginity or at what age should they do so, we should teach those who still havent, to a bit of heads and hearts on their hormones and do it when they truly FEEL and KNOW they WANT to have sex and not when society says you have to. And while at that, promoting the use of anticonceptives (unless they want a baby that is) the condom is NEEDED (unless your couple is certificated completely sane before each intercouse, wich becomes more uncomfortable than to buy and use some preservatives) and while at that, teaching them one or two pieces of theory that may help them truly enjoy it as it must be.

Its not about putting on the chastity belt nor about pimping the kids all around, its about favoring those who dont want to start their sexual life with respect, and helping those who want to do it the right way.
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BarakaBrat
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I lost My virginity at 14 and I don't regret it. It's not like your entire life changes all of a sudden. In today's society, being 18 and a virgin is laughed at so virginity isnt' a big deal.
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BarakaBrat wrote:I lost My virginity at 14 and I don't regret it. It's not like your entire life changes all of a sudden. In today's society, being 18 and a virgin is laughed at so virginity isnt' a big deal.


I've lost virginity when I was 14. Hanzo has lost It when 14...And now you..lol :giggle:

I guess virginity isn't a big deal as it used to be. There are still people which like the traditional.
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'Omni-[N|E|O wrote:-Scorpion]
BarakaBrat wrote:I lost My virginity at 14 and I don't regret it. It's not like your entire life changes all of a sudden. In today's society, being 18 and a virgin is laughed at so virginity isnt' a big deal.


I've lost virginity when I was 14. Hanzo has lost It when 14...And now you..lol :giggle:

I guess virginity isn't a big deal as it used to be. There are still people which like the traditional.


Damn, I lost mine at 15...
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I just feel bad for the girls who get drunk at a party and give it up to some jerk off lookin for pussy. What a way to lose that virginity... *tsk tsk*
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BarakaBrat
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I don't really think virginity deserves its own word because I think it's SO not a big deal. I mean like, you save your virginity for the right person, and then it turns out you guys get divorced. I'm not saying be a whore, but there's no need to be so prude. Afterall, I think sex, or at least sexual acts can make people feel closer to each other.
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Oh? Allah is not happy with his biznazz being spread out like Jenna's mother's legs after 8PM. In any event... these days it really isn't much of a big deal as it used to be. I think more sex ed should be taught in schools. You can't trust that other parents will teach their child or speak to them before they start experimenting, and I'd rather teachers be involved to reinforce the message to kids who have been educated on sex by their parents and to introduce it to those who haven't been taught. Sometimes parents don't realize what's going with their child until its too late.

With all the sex in the media, std's, teenage pregnancy, etc., I think it should start on the elementary school level. And I think parents should be provided with any information relating to the lesson.

Besides "the video" in 5th grade, I don't remember being taught sex ed until like 7th grade. I think that was too late because girls were already walking around pregnant in my middle school.[/size][/color][/font]

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[quote="Allah Hanzo"][CENTER][font="Book Antiqua"][color="Red"][SIZE="2 I don't remember being taught sex ed until like 7th grade..[/size][/color][/font]

I've never even had sex ed in my school...I learned everything from my older brother...
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[color="Red"]I have a high school friend that's a pornstar, she only does anal so technically she's the only virgin pornstar. :-D[/color]
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